Loser's Paradise

The 42nd installment of DandyJ‘s series homo-genius is probably one of my favorites. And that’s because Neo Turf Masters is that shit. I don’t support piracy or whatever, but go download this bitch! I know you’d think an arcade game based on golf is pretty awful, but I’d play this over Golden Tee anyday.

I mean really likes Waterworld. I’m not just talking “I’m in it for Kevin Costner” (Because that’s a lie.) or “It has good special effects!”. Who genuinely liked this movie the entire way through and would recommend it to a friend based on its own artistic merit? I personally liked it the first couple of times I saw it, but that was a few years back. My most lasting memory of this movie is it’s long run in cable syndication and how it is on all the time. I actually talked about this movie at work this evening with Nate, who remarked he had never seen it before the previous evening. I told him what I am about to write here. “Waterworld? Fuck that movie!” And here is why. I brushed upon this earlier but I’ll get started again so I can continue my train of thought. I have seen this movie on cable TV pretty much every week for the past three or four years. I can probably go the rest of my life without seeing this mediocre movie. I don’t wanna take a massive dump on it because it’s been done before, so I won’t. But I promise you some of it is warranted. I will say the acting isn’t that great, but the villains, the “Smokers” are hillarious. They are called Smokers because that’s exactly what they do. They just smoke cigarettes and go around the global ocean being douchebags to people whose lives are unquestionably already shitty enough. I don’t understand how this massive army of chainsmokers is able to smoke all the time, seeing as you know, THERE ISN’T ANY GOD DAMN LAND! Where do they get the tobacco from? Certainly not from the bottom of the ocean, because the cigarettes wouldn’t even last more than a couple of years underwater.

Okay, well… Anyway I just read the Wikipedia article I leaked and apparently the Extended Cut of Waterworld makes it a lot better, supposedly. Again let me be clear, Waterworld isn’t awful, it’s just not great. And if you’ve seen it a billion times, you’ll get sick of it. But I guess that is true of anything. So really, I guess I kinda of went off on a ranty tangent about absolutely nothing. Oh well. It’s been sixteen years since Waterworld was released. It’ll be cool to see if they remake this beast. It’s possible. People in the movie industry reboot crap all the time. Maybe in 2025…

Well, shoot. It seems like we’ve all been here before, right? A friend on Facebook mentioned her websites and we’ve been going for as long as they have. Well, going is kind of a bad word to use. Hell, this place has been a step below “on life-support” for years, man. But what can I say, I’m pretty lazy. My friend remarked in a status update how she would probably be closing her sites or something, which got my mind completely focused on this one once again. I figured, why not actually try working on the blog because I now have the free time to do so. So here it is.

First off, I’d like to thank my good friend Stephan for clearing out my server space and actually installing this for me while I was busy with work and stuff. I could have done it myself, but I’m kinda limited to stealing wireless off my neighbors or posting from my phone, so a big FTP transfer was outta the question. Thanks a bunch for that, man. (If your reading this, that is.) Anyway, this is my blog. I won’t be doing great things to change the world here, because I’m not that kind of guy. Nay, this will be dedicated to topics and things that I am interested in. So I suppose it’s like any other blog, truthfully. But that doesn’t mean you shouldn’t read it! So… subscribe today!